He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
