I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize