eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
