just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
