booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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