he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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