my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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