i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
