you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
