Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
