dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
