She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
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Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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