Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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