I must be too annoying 4 u.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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