do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
