But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
