if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
