Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
you will always have a special place in my vag
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
