i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
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she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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