Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
