you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
