you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We need to get me chipped asap
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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