Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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