i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
