tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
