We're facebook friends in real life
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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