"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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