i jhust puked up my retainher.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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