I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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