Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
