Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
