The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize