I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
