Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
