I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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