we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
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