he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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