We're facebook friends in real life
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
