quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
