Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
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I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
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mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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