just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
