Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
