He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
