I seem to have left my pride at pride
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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