He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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