An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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