Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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