We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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