I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
