i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
