I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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