watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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