i jhust puked up my retainher.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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