I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
