After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
