maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
