Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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