At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
