i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
