The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
