Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
