So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
