God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize