i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
