Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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