also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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