I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
